MOTIVATION

To inspire and motivate for positive change in lives and our world.

Tuesday, 28 August 2018

Just a Little Romance


It was on a good Saturday morning. I went to the hospital to take my injection for the day, and also collect the remaining drugs that wasn't in store the previous day.

As soon as I got there, i walked straight to the pharmacy section hoping to meet the pharmacist who attended to me on Friday. But I was shocked beyond words when I met a woman who was ravishing even from afar instead of him.

From the crown of her head to the sole of her feet was stunning. She's a typical example of what beautiful is. I couldn't help but admire all what my eyes could behold. She was breathtaking. The more I looked the faster my heart raced.

I exclaimed, "God really did an exceptional job here when creating her. She's indeed one of a kind."

It happened that she was the one who's to attend to me. I composed myself, greeted her, "Good afternoon ma (I noticed a wedding band on her)." She responded cordially and asked how she could be of assistance to me.

I told her what I came for, then showed her my card and the drug lists. She took it, went to the store, got the drugs and the injections. She gave them to me.
After she attended to me, I couldn't help but to tell her, 'Wow, you look very beautiful.' 
As soon as I let out those words, she smiled from ear to ear. She blushed uncontrollably as if Cinderella saw her Prince charming.
It was evident those words made her felt so elated.
I smiled back.
With a face filled with smiles, she said, "Thank you very much. What's your name?"

I responded, "I'm Chidi, what about you?"
"I'm Mrs Nwosu Amaka. You took me by surprise, but thanks Chidi, this means a lot," she said. 
"You're really taking good care of yourself, keep it up ma. Let me go take my injection. See you some other times," I said.
"Okay Chidi, see you around," she said smiling.

As I took my leave, her eyes were fixated on me smiling as if she wants the conversation not to end.
As I walked out, I kept pondering why is she acting up all like this, could it be she don't get compliments from her husband or what? Because it was obvious her demeanor says it all. 

On a second thought, why wouldn't a man compliment his woman every now and then? Don't they know women love these little things, especially when it comes from someone whom they truly love and cherish? I pondered.

Dear Married men, as a husband, providing money for the home welfare is as important as being romantic to your spouse. 

You see those words you used on her during courtship, continue saying them in marriage. 

Always compliment her new hairdo, her looks, dress, her pedicure, tell her sweet nonsense with all sincerity.
Take her by surprise and call her:
My love,
Sweetheart, 
My sunshine,
My beautiful princess, 
or
My joy...

For my igbo folks:
"Obim,"
"Obidiya,"
"Odim nu Obi,"
"Nnem,"
"Enenebe Jé ólú," 
"Ọma ma asa ahụ."
"Asam"
"Nkem,"
"Achalugom,"
"Udara micham"
"Ogoli dim mma"
"Ugobo Oyibom," Etc...

From time to time drop love notes in her bag or pin it on her mirror where she can see it...expressing what you love and cherish about her. Be creative about it.

Doing these little things will make your relationship never to be loveless. In fact it will spice up your relationship and make what the both of you share better. 

In addition, you can add little touches (hugs, kisses on the forehead, hands, cheeks and lips) too coupled with those words. They (women) love these things a lot, it reassures them of your love towards them. Please do it with sincerity and not with ulterior motive. 

Make out time to spend quality time with your sweetheart. At least twice a month take her out to a beautiful restaurant and eat out, telling her how beautiful she has made your life become since she came into your life. Don't worry about the kids they can stay at Aunts place...or better still plan a weekend getaway with the whole family. 

Spoil your baby girl a little...buy her gifts irrespective of how independent she is. Women loves these things no matter how little the gifts are especially when it's coming from a sincere heart. Your sweetheart deserves all the love you can give. Shower her with it. Out of the blue, send her beautiful texts, recharge cards, money for one needs or the other and tell her I LOVE YOU.

Your romantic side shouldn't stop after kids, keep it flowing and rejuvenating by doing these little things every now and then. It increases the bond the both of you share and waxing it even stronger. 

Please do these for the one you love. Don't let your marriage be just about sleeping and waking up together, raising kids, age and die, biko add romance in the mix and be spontaneous about it, you'll be glad you did. Thank you.

Dear married women, please continue to look good and beautiful. Don't stop taking good care of yourself even after childbirth. We (men) are mostly attracted by what we see... continue to look appealing and attractive to us.
Stop this habit of looking only so gorgeous outside but so tattered and unkept at home. It's a huge turn off I must tell you.
You got a role to play in this romance thing. Also reciprocate too, it boost your man's morale. You and your sweetheart are in this together. Don't shy too much lol, just enjoy the moment. Thank you.

The importance of romance in marriage can never be overemphasized. If the spark in yours has become dim, there's still time to lighting it up once again by doing any of these things I suggested above, it effects on your spouse will be so remarkable. For a person who feels appreciated will always give more than is expected. 

Your marriage can be a bliss; just add a little romance.
😍😍😍
Thank you.

#MattCares 





Someday Never Comes!


"Someday, I will read that book."

"Someday, I will start working out."

"Someday, I will write my book."

"Someday, I will upgrade my skills and earn more money."

"Someday, I'll get my finances under control and get out of debt."

"Someday, I will register for that professional course/program/exam."

"Someday, I will start my business."

"Someday, I will express my feelings to her/him."

"Someday, I work on myself to be a better person." 

"Someday, I'll do all those things that I need to do to achieve my life goals."

"Someday, someday!"

But, the "Someday" never comes.

In fact, to tell you the truth, it will never come.

Take a close look to your calendar, can you find anything like "Someday" amongst the weekdays? 

Your answer is as good as mine.

'Someday' isn't one of the 7 days in a week.

Why then do you use it so often on what you want to do? 

"Someday" will make you never to get anything done nor achieve anything worthwhile.

In the end, when your feet can not carry you as it use to, you'll be full of regrets for actions you never took because you were waiting for someday to do them.

Someday and procrastination are synonymous.

Procrastination will not only steal your time, it ruin your life. For time is no one's friend. As the seconds pass, we are getting closer to our grave. It is a harsh reality that we all will face.

Therefore, it is very important we make judicious use of the short time we have do to what we ought to do.

Anything you can do now, never leave it for later. Do it already, and focus on other things. Start doing. Start small. Just start. It maybe hard, but it will get easy. Just begin.
 
Whenever you set out to do something, get on with it. Tomorrow is not guaranteed for anyone. Someday will never come.

For you to avoid regrets at your old age, you've got to discipline yourself to do what you should do, when you should do it, whether you feel like it or not. 

Self discipline in this regard is the distinguishing factor between the unsuccessful and the successful in this life. 

I know you want to be successful. We owe our future self that. Therefore, I urge you to delete that mentality of doing something "Someday" and replace it with start doing it "Now." 

We all know it is hard to form new habits, but when you discipline yourself to be doing things now and not later, with little time it will internalize and become automatic and easy to practice. All habits are learnable. So learn this, it is for your own good.

No more someday.

Now.
 
Today. 

Not later or tomorrow.

Start already!

Fix tangible dates and deadlines to goals. 

Then get on with it.

Doing something each blessed day to get you closer to the goals.

Sooner or later you will surprise yourself with your achievements. Because you can achieve almost anything for yourself if you have the discipline to pay the price or do what you need to do and never give up. 

I know you'll choose to take actions as from today, and stop relying on a 'someday' that never comes.

Take care and be all that you can be. Yes, you can.


#MattCares


Sunday, 12 August 2018

Thoughts on Low Self Esteem




A lot of people today are suffering from low self-esteem, and the root cause is not far fetched.

It started right from the home front.

Those times when their parent(s) call them all sorts of demeaning names like: Stupid, goat, good-for-nothing, failure, mumu, useless child, olodo, isi aki (coconut head), oloriburuku (senseless being), black sheep, wowo and the list goes on and on for doing a mistake or not meeting their standard in academics or otherwise.

These words over time had psychological effects on them that they began to see themselves in that way.

They begin to see themselves as worthless, insecure, failure, ugly, second fiddle, unintelligent, timid, good-for-nothing, unimportant e.t.c.

Some even think it is normal since these words are what they’ve have heard all through their growing up days.

Only a handful of people who suffer from such even realize they are have this big problem.

It takes special efforts, time and hard work (determination and commitment) to break free from low self-esteem mentality, since it has etched in the sufferer psych.

I read some where on social media platform where a lady said she was saving to give her dad a befitting burial despite him still being very much alive.

She said, her dad will never taste her dime since he told her she will never amount to anything in this life, with other verbal abuse he used on her severally.

It took her long years of efforts to break free from the low self-esteem state she lived because of him.

She said, she can never forgive him for all he did but will give him the best burial when he  dies.

I felt so weak reading that… This life is something else sometimes.

As a parent,  please use your mouth to bless your children not to curse them.

Stop the habit of comparing them to anyone in academics or otherwise.

Be there for them, love them, encourage them, listen to them, talk to them, correct them with love, praise or commend their little efforts and also thank them for a job well done.

A child from such home where these are practiced will hardly suffer from low self-esteem.

He or she will grow and walk in confidence and would want to replicate or pass such to his own kids which will in turn lead to a better society.

There are other causes of low self-esteem, but the home front is a major cause which need to be nibbed in the bud.

I wrote this so maybe you as a parent or those who will become one tomorrow will read and make adjustments on how you groom your kids.

Your words and actions towards them tends to have a way to shape their future, use it wisely.

Afterthought:
Overcoming low self-esteem.

Low self-esteem issues is really a big problem. It will rob you off a lot of things in this life, and dealing with it can be liking to treating a dreaded illness for good. Bellow are few tips on overcoming it.

Firstly, think about what's affecting your self esteem and work on getting rid of it or distancing from it.

Secondly, try as much as possible to avoid all forms of negative self talk. No matter what happens, don't use your mouth to talk ill about yourself. Your words are powerful, speak positive affirmations into your life. They'll become your reality.

Thirdly, connect with people who genuinely love and care for you. They will help you a lot to see how wonderful you are.

Fourthly, learn to be assertive. Grow your confidence by reading good books that will help you in that regards. Also, set yourself a challenge - your victory in the challenge will further boost your confidence and increase your self esteem.

Finally, always focus on your positives traits, and lastly LOVE AND TAKE good care of yourself. You deserve all the love and care you can give yourself.

I’m always here to help you overcome your low self-esteem issue, just reach out.

I see you breaking the shackles of low self-esteem already.

Take care.

Reach out to me on
Facebook:  www.facebook.com/matthewchidi.etumnu
Instagram: www.instagram.com/etumnuMatthew
Whatsapp: 08023348582
#MattCares