A lot of people today are suffering from low self-esteem, and the root cause is not far fetched.
It started right from the home front.
Those times when their parent(s) call them all sorts of demeaning names like: Stupid, goat, good-for-nothing, failure, mumu, useless child, olodo, isi aki (coconut head), oloriburuku (senseless being), black sheep, wowo and the list goes on and on for doing a mistake or not meeting their standard in academics or otherwise.
These words over time had psychological effects on them that they began to see themselves in that way.
They begin to see themselves as worthless, insecure, failure, ugly, second fiddle, unintelligent, timid, good-for-nothing, unimportant e.t.c.
Some even think it is normal since these words are what they’ve have heard all through their growing up days.
Only a handful of people who suffer from such even realize they are have this big problem.
It takes special efforts, time and hard work (determination and commitment) to break free from low self-esteem mentality, since it has etched in the sufferer psych.
I read some where on social media platform where a lady said she was saving to give her dad a befitting burial despite him still being very much alive.
She said, her dad will never taste her dime since he told her she will never amount to anything in this life, with other verbal abuse he used on her severally.
It took her long years of efforts to break free from the low self-esteem state she lived because of him.
She said, she can never forgive him for all he did but will give him the best burial when he dies.
I felt so weak reading that… This life is something else sometimes.
As a parent, please use your mouth to bless your children not to curse them.
Stop the habit of comparing them to anyone in academics or otherwise.
Be there for them, love them, encourage them, listen to them, talk to them, correct them with love, praise or commend their little efforts and also thank them for a job well done.
A child from such home where these are practiced will hardly suffer from low self-esteem.
He or she will grow and walk in confidence and would want to replicate or pass such to his own kids which will in turn lead to a better society.
There are other causes of low self-esteem, but the home front is a major cause which need to be nibbed in the bud.
I wrote this so maybe you as a parent or those who will become one tomorrow will read and make adjustments on how you groom your kids.
Your words and actions towards them tends to have a way to shape their future, use it wisely.
Afterthought:
Overcoming low self-esteem.
Low self-esteem issues is really a big problem. It will rob you off a lot of things in this life, and dealing with it can be liking to treating a dreaded illness for good. Bellow are few tips on overcoming it.
Firstly, think about what's affecting your self esteem and work on getting rid of it or distancing from it.
Secondly, try as much as possible to avoid all forms of negative self talk. No matter what happens, don't use your mouth to talk ill about yourself. Your words are powerful, speak positive affirmations into your life. They'll become your reality.
Thirdly, connect with people who genuinely love and care for you. They will help you a lot to see how wonderful you are.
Fourthly, learn to be assertive. Grow your confidence by reading good books that will help you in that regards. Also, set yourself a challenge - your victory in the challenge will further boost your confidence and increase your self esteem.
Finally, always focus on your positives traits, and lastly LOVE AND TAKE good care of yourself. You deserve all the love and care you can give yourself.
I’m always here to help you overcome your low self-esteem issue, just reach out.
I see you breaking the shackles of low self-esteem already.
Take care.
Reach out to me on
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