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Monday 11 February 2019

Overcoming Shyness

"I'm shy."

"I am always shy."

Have you found yourself saying the above statements, if yes, I have a message for you.

My friend, you were never born that way. It is what you learnt over time, probably from your upbringing. But the good news here is you can unlearn it and embrace confidence and do away with all forms of shyness. Shyness deprives you a whole lot of things and shouldn't be encouraged.

See why you're feeling shy:

1. You don't feel like you're enough or worthy.

2. You don't feel like you have anything meaningful to say in midst of people.

3. You are much concerned about what others think of you. That you choose to act in shyness.

4. You are afraid not to make mistake(s) thus you don't do anything at all.

 5. You don't trust or believe in yourself enough.

6. You're magnifying one or more of your weaknesses, let it overshadowing your strengths.

These are few root causes of your shyness.

Now to deal with this decisively start doing the following gradually.

1. Accept yourself for who you are. Other people's opinions don't define you. Accept yourself wholeheartedly. You're enough and worthy. You are useful. Accept it.

2. Be self aware. That is stop thinking that people are looking at you. To tell you truth everyone is busy. Do not let it bother you a bit. Many of them don't care about your looks or what you say so don't let it worry you.

3. Enhance your strength.
Keep focusing on what you love doing and do them often, it will boost your self confidence.

4. Take good care of yourself. Your body, mind and health-wise. Very important.

5. Practice talking
Use your mirror... Ask yourself questions and answer them. (*) I will help you with few tips.

6. Start focusing on others by paying attention and asking thought provoking questions.

7. Take a deep breath slowly, it will help you relax your muscle when you speak.
Focus on the moment (words, expressions, voice and tones)

8. Make eye contact when someone is talking or you're speaking. It will boost your confidence.

Doing these will stop you from being shy. It is a gradual process. Remember, you learned how to be shy over time, unlearning it wouldn't be a days job. But your continuous efforts and determination will eventually lead you to live above shyness. You're born to be courageous and confident, quit living a timid life. Be more!!!

Afterthought (*)

When you meet a new person in a new enviroment.
Say (maintaining eyes contact):

"Hi, I don't think I've met you before. I'm (add your name). How about you?"

Then let the conversation flow. Ask simple questions such as:

"Are you new here?"

"How was your day?"

"What are you passionate about?"

"What do you love about your job/work/business?"

"What bring smiles to your face?"

"How's life treating you?"

"What is your favorite _____(Add anything you wish to know)?"

"Where do you see yourself few years from now?"


Please study the environment (very important) before asking.

All the best.

#MattCares 😊

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